Raising Kaine Switches to "Raising McCain"

By: Lowell
Published On: 4/1/2007 7:45:44 AM

OK, we've had it.  Everything we've ever said about Progresssive values and all that?  Eh, that was so 24 hours ago.  Today's a new day - April 1, to be exact - and we're turning over a new leaf.  We are embracing our inner dark side, rejecting idealism for cynicism, and concluding that hell, "we've got ours" so the heck with the rest of you. 

In other words, we've become Republicans, and boy does it feel good.  So, from this moment forth, "Raising Kaine" will become "Raising McCain" - alternative, "Raising McKaine" if you prefer.  Our new best friends: Bill Bolling, George Allen (sorry about all that criticism over your deerhead incident and habiutal use of the "n" word!), Bob Marshall (saving our Commonwealth from rampaging homosexuals in leather and feather boas) and Bob McDonnell (sorry about all that "Sodomy Bob" and "Taliban Bob" stuff...what WERE we thinking?!?). 

Our new greatest enemies:  Tim Kaine (obviously), Brian Moran (D-People's Republic of Alexandria), Creigh Deeds (can't even pronounce his name correctly, why should we support him?), Mark Warner (or maybe it's John Warner, whatever), Bruce Roemmelt (how dare you take on the greatest defender of all that's holy and good in Virginia, Bob Marshall?!?), and all those other forces of so-called goodness and "forward together" nonsense, aka Virginia Democrats.

No, today is April 1, time for all fools (like us) to realize the error of their ways.  Our new vow: abandon the light, embrace the dark side!  Our new causes:  allow everyone to blow their smoke at restaurant workers and give them cancer, make sure that nobody can join a union or make a living wage, bomb the hell out of anyone who disagrees with us (or just looks at us kind of funnY)!  Our new motto: as of today, April 1, it's Raising McCain - the voice of Medieval Virginia!  Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

P.S. Happy April Fools Day! :)

Comments



I like this better: (vadem - 4/1/2007 8:28:24 AM)
Razing McCain.


cheap labor; more fossil fuel (hereinva - 4/1/2007 8:38:43 AM)
Gotta support the cheapest labor market- cannot pay the average worker livable wages AND...NO minimum wage !  Workers should be happy they have a job !! Retirement and medical benefits? All ya need is faith-based medical and retirement programs: pray you don't get sick and pray you don't get laid off.

If we extract and burn more fossil fuels..it will solve our energy problems - it will quicken the global warming process, melt the icecaps quicker and allow us to drill more oil in the artic !!

Happy April Fools Day...

 



Humm must be something in the water (novamiddleman - 4/1/2007 9:32:15 AM)
I woke up today went to the bank and closed my account.  Sold all my mutual funds, put my condo up for sale.

After liquidating my accounts I wrote a check to the United States government.  The government can do a much better job than I can.

After that I picked up my foodstamps and settled into my new pod in section 8 housing.

I am now demanding door to door personal transit for wherever I want to go

This afternoon I am planning a barbeque oops can't harm the environment I mean a fondu tofu pot with Osama Bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad where we can talk and sing kumbaya

Hopefully they won't get too bad when I tell them they can't light up their hookah pipe

Happy April Fools :) 
 



"Steve Jobs" Riff on "IRack" and "IRan" (FMArouet - 4/1/2007 9:57:21 AM)
In case you missed it, this clip is political satire at its best:

http://www.youtube.c...



;) (Josh - 4/1/2007 10:11:07 AM)


Numbed by April 1 (norman swingvoter - 4/1/2007 12:31:44 PM)
Alright Lowell, now that we've joined the ranks of the hopelessly gullible, my new favorite President of all time is our President Bush with the greatest Vice President being Dick Cheney. My 2 favorite Americans are Newt Gingrich and Karl Rove. Being able to blindly believe whatever I am told makes life a lot easier. 

Global Warming? It's just a plot by those damned liberal media.

Civil War in Iraq? Not happening. John McCain took a noon stroll today in Baghdad surrounded by throngs of happy Iraqis. Photos and video will be up tomorrow.

Fox News? The only reliable news, everyone else is just biased against our beloved President.

Happy April Fools' Day to you to.  I would continue but I am starting to feel nauseous!



Raising McCain: Favorite Powerful People (connie - 4/1/2007 2:54:16 PM)
O.K. Norman S., you have favorites and so do other people.  My favorite Attorney General is Alberto Gonzales (used to be John Mitchell, Richard Nixon's sidekick) and my favorite FBI Director is Robert Mueller.  I just love how his agency has ignored even that horrible Patriot Act and monitored the personal electronic correspondance and phone records of ordinary citizens without even complying withe the law.  And Harriet Myers is my favorite Supreme Court nomineee, so very highly qualified with her positions with the Dallas Bar Association or whatever...cannot understand why he withdrew that nomination.  George W. Bush just seems to give us so many favorites!  My favorite Vice Presidential Aid/scapegoat  is Scooter Libby of course and Carl Rove is hands down my favorite presidential advisor.  Condaleeza Rice: Favoritate Secretary of State...Oh, almost forgot,  my favorite War of all time, our current mission to liberate and establish democracy into a region where we have been so warmly welcomed with open arms as liberators.


Free at last (Kindler - 4/1/2007 4:19:30 PM)
Hallelujah -- I feel so liberated!  I've already gone to K-mart to buy my bow-tie!



While you're there... (Lowell - 4/1/2007 4:24:02 PM)
...you could also pick up some of those commie/pinko compact fluorescent light bulbs. :)


This oldie from the most trusted name in journalism (PM - 4/1/2007 4:57:10 PM)

'98 Homosexual-Recruitment Drive Nearing Goal

July 29, 1998 | Issue 33?26

SAN FRANCISCO-Spokespersons for the National Gay & Lesbian Recruitment Task Force announced Monday that more than 288,000 straights have been converted to homosexuality since Jan. 1, 1998, putting the group well on pace to reach its goal of 350,000 conversions by the end of the year.

"Thanks to the tireless efforts of our missionaries nationwide, in the first seven months of 1998, nearly 300,000 heterosexuals were ensnared in the Pink Triangle," said NGLRTF co-director Patricia Emmonds. "Clearly, the activist homosexual lobby is winning."

Emmonds credited much of the recruiting success to the gay lobby's infiltration of America's public schools, where programs promoting the homosexual lifestyle are regularly presented to children as young as 5. ***

http://www.theonion....

The Onion -- where every day is April Fool's



Onion Shmonion (Kindler - 4/1/2007 9:23:15 PM)
Are you trying to imply that Fox News is not the most trusted name in journalism, you godless terrorist hugger? ;-)


Let's compromise and say (PM - 4/1/2007 9:42:47 PM)
the Onion and Fox News are equally attentive to the facts

:)))  [smiling man with double chin]



Free paper copies of your e-mail from G-Mail mailed to you (PM - 4/1/2007 5:28:32 PM)
http://mail.google.c...