What, did Jerry Kilgore's parents teach him that television was evil or something? Was he traumatized as a boy by the thought of being marooned with Ginger and Mary Ann? Of being shot by a laser pistol-wielding lizard? Of being "lost in space" with Zachary Smith and a "cowardly clump" of a robot? Of laughing too hard at the antics of Lucille Ball, Buck Owens or Roy Clark? Or was it the lack of cable, color screens, and good reception 30+ years ago that soured Jerry Kilgore on TV for life? Whatever the cause, Jerry Kilgore seems to hate and fear TV at this point in his life, except for hours of his beloved SpongeBob SquarePants cartoons, of course. Actually, let me amend that statement. Jerry Kilgore doesn't hate watching TV, he just hates appearing on it; at least, he hates the though of a televised debate with Tim Kaine (or Russ Potts, for that matter). Just yesterday, the Kilgore campaign rejected an offer from WSLS-TV10 in Roanoke for a debate that would have gone out to voters statewide. Tim Kaine, of course, had accepted without hesitation.
So, we ask for the zillionth time, why is Jerry Kilgore dodging and ducking debates? What the heck is he so afraid of? If Jerry thinks he's got such great ideas and plans for our state, why wouldn't he be eager to get out there and explain them in front of people? If he thinks Tim Kaine is such a liberal weenie as his campaign claims, why wouldn't Kilgore want to appear side-by-side with him: the great conservative vs. the liberal loser?
In other words, if Jerry Kilgore's so great, then what on earth is he hiding from here? Is he just super shy? Scared to death? A coward? Or is the Kilgore campaign's refusal to appear on TV a calculated strategy by Scott "Everyone's a Traitor Except for Me and My Candidate" Howell? Or, are they just weak and terrified of being pummelled by Tim Kaine (and Russ Potts), having Jerry's voice go up several octaves, and having his campaign promises exposed for exactly what they are: utter and complete crap-o-la?
Most importantly, what does this tell us about a boy...er, man, who wants to be our next governor? As Russ Potts asks, "What kind of person can aspire to be governor when they don't have the courage, character or confidence to get in front of the people of Virginia and explain where they stand on the issues?" Or, as Tim Kaine puts it:
This pattern of avoiding debates should raise a red flag with the voters. Virginia has a strong tradition of leadership, and when a candidate running for the state's highest office flinches again and again from the chance to stand on a stage with his opponents and share his vision for Virginia, he shows he is unworthy of carrying on that tradition.
Let's repeat that last phrase for emphasis: "unworthy of carrying on that tradition." Frankly, if Jerry Kilgore is this terrified of showing his face in public, he truly needs to take up another career, one that requires less public speaking and social interaction May I recommend a book? I haven't read it, but Careers for Introverts & Other Solitary Types sounds like the perfect reading selection for our esteemed Republican gubernatorial nominee. According to Amazon.com, the book describes careers that are good for shy guys and loners like Jerry Kilgore. Possibilities include: computer programmer, mail carrier, researcher, statistician, writer, or even park ranger.
Surely, any one of these career choices would be a better fit for Jerry "SpongeBob" Kilgore than Career Politician, the path he's actually chosen in life. And certainly they'd work better for us Virginians, too. Unless, of course, we all want to have an incompetent, invisible governor the next four years. Right, I didn't think so.