Fun stuff today and yesterday in the Richmond Times-Dispatch (RTD). First, the RTD's cartoonist, Gary Brookins, came up with a Perserverando-esque 'toon comparing the show "American Idol" with the Virginia General Assembly - "Virginians Idle." This cartoon is "not to be reproduced in any form," and I don't particularly want to spend the summer tangling with the RTD's attorneys, so you'll have to click here to view "Virginians Idle." Meanwhile, Ray McAllister - fast becoming one of my favorite columnists on Virginia politics - continues the "American Idol/Virginians Idle" theme today, with his hilarious satire (it IS satire, right Ray?) on "our do-nothing legislators" and the songs they might sing if put on stage - American Idol-style - and told to explain "why they're doing so little."
Fun stuff. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy watching the State-House budget conferees getting together for a rousing chorus of "Strangers in the Night?" Or Senate Republican Floor Leader Thomas Norment singing Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" to Lt. Governor Bolling (key lyrics: "Shot through the heart and you're to blame")? Finally, we can all sit back and enjoy the mano-a-mano contest between House Speaker William "My Way" Howell and Senate Finance Committee Chairman John "Taxman" Chichester.
First, here's Howell (music by Frank Sinatra, lyrics by Ray McAllister):
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, when there was tax, I ate it up and spit it back...
Applause, anyone? Or, more appropriately, maybe a big thumbs down from Simon Cowell?
And now Chichester (music by the Beatles, lyrics by McAllister):
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street. If you rent a car, I'll tax the fleet. If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet. If you drive in groups, I'll tax H.O.V.
Fun stuff.
Finally, we've got the poor suckers...er, voters of Virginia, with several possible song choices:
*"(We're on the) Highway to Hell" by ACDC
*"Stuck in the Middle with You" by Egan and Rafferty
*"What's Going On?" by Marvin Gaye
*"Mo Money Mo Problems" by Notorious B.I.G.
*"Good Riddance" by Green Day
*"I Wanna be Sedated" by the Ramones
*"Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" by George and Ira Gershwin
So what do you all think? What's your favorite song to describe where we're at, 100 days after the Governor and General Assembly started down that long, lonesome road (hopefully not to nowhere) on transportation? Should we all be singin' the blues or what? C'mon, hit me with your best shot!