New Disease Alert: "Gonorrhea Lectim!"
By: Lowell
Published On: 3/3/2006 2:00:00 AM
This one looks bad...
Worse than SARS and Bird Flu combined, The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas .
Comments
hold on now this isn (shania - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
hold on now this isnt a laughimg matter if you have teens then they might be at risk yo vant always watch them so talk 2 them because if the have sex with someone who has you all are going to be lookin straight dumb and that goes for adult and dont ever think that this disease could never happen to you everyone that has sex are at risk expectallly adult cheating or having sex with anyone that passes them as well as teens that enjoy sex instead of the right way which is absistence. NOW THINK ABOUT THAT
Sorry Teddy, I speak (David Lang - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
Sorry Teddy, I speak F.O.B., not that no tongue language.
Although curiously I (Doug in Mount Vernon - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
Although curiously I'd think with most of these people it couldn't be sexually transmitted since none of them seem to be having any sex (and who could blame the poor prospects?)
D Lang: pleeth thpea (Teddy - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
D Lang: pleeth thpeak up! Doth you mean the meth-a-done thit on Capitol Hill?
I love it. Thanks, (Doug in Mount Vernon - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
I love it. Thanks, I needed a hearty laugh at the end of a long week.
What do they call the strain Coulteritis?
And let me guess wha (David Lang - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
And let me guess what the cure is. Ah.. Some Demo-Crack?
HAHA! Oh man, that' (Craig - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
HAHA! Oh man, that's priceless.
...manifesting spite (Teddy - 4/4/2006 11:33:19 PM)
...manifesting spiteful vindictiveness over the slightest opposition, and a happy willingness to torture and inflict pain; the female may show dominatrix tendencies and wear spike heeled boots.