A Canvassing Moment

By: Mary
Published On: 1/30/2006 2:00:00 AM


I spent a good part of this weekend canvassing homes, seeking to ensure that voters head to the polls Tuesday and vote for Mark Herring, Democratic candidate for State Senate. For me, my political participation is rooted in canvassing. It's a great way to get to know my community (and to get a little exercise, as well). Sometimes, my exchanges with voters can really give me new perspective. Yesterday, a defining moment came when a woman walking her dog approached me and asked me what I was doing.

"Oh, I'm canvassing homes to remind folks to get out and vote for Mark Herring for State Senate."

"Stop that, I hate Democrats." she replied.

This stopped me with true surprise. "Really? I'm so sorry you feel that way." I continued walking in silence, then turned around to face her. "Why do you feel this way? I'd like to understand."

"Democrats are traitors. Don't get me started on this."

Again, I was stunned. "I don't think I agree. I'm so sorry you feel that way." Realizing I was starting to repeat myself with my stupefied responses, I tried to address her perspective more pointedly. "Is it Iraq? I have a close friend serving there, I can only speak for myself, but I truly respect what she is doing. But even my friend has misgivings about why she is there--I don't imagine, when she is serving, that she is being a traitor. Haven't you ever had doubts when you knew you were doing the right thing?"

The lady grabbed her dog leash and muttered that it wasn't the same thing. I looked at her for a second, and then just said, "Well, anyhow, I respect your opinion."

She looked back and shot back at me, "That's a bunch of garbage and you darn well know it. Why else would you be trying to tear down our leadership by campaigning like this?"

"Can't we agree to disagree on things and still respect each other??

"Respect? Democrats are just a bunch of baby killers."

Abortion. Somehow that always gets thrown into the mix. "You know, I have more respect for a person's decision on how they choose to take sides on the abortion issue than probably any other issue. It's a deep moral choice?and I'm ready to appreciate anyone who has the courage to stand by their convictions, even if I don't agree."

This stopped her dead in her tracks. "You're kidding me."

"No, that's my stand as a Democrat. I'm not going to convert you, but maybe I could count you as a friend. I think it's important we promote our communities, for everyone's benefit. That's why I'm out here today. Do you mind if I say hi to you when you go to vote on Tuesday?"

"No, I suppose I won't.? A minute passed and she looked at me, ?I'm sorry I said I hated you. I wasn't thinking."

"Oh, I didn't think you meant it."

We walked silently a little further until I got to a house I had to canvas.  She smiled, introduced herself and told me that she?d look for me at the polling station.

That conversation has really stuck with me over the past day. Honestly, I doubt I relieved much of her anger at the Democratic Party, Iraq or abortion. But I consider it an achievement that she left our conversation not hating me?and discovering that she could like at least one Democrat.

Anger is a real problem in modern politics. Today?s no-holds-barred approach to negative campaigning seems to feed off this. Don?t get me wrong, I don?t mind differentiation?but hatred is another thing.

Politics should be about the constructive things we can do to build our communities, to make our civic system of government work better for its citizens. That?s something that transcends partisan differences. Let's make small efforts?of talking to neighbors, of making phone calls, of encouraging folks to learn more about good candidates?to help transform politics into something more meaningful. 

And maybe this is overly idealistic, but maybe we can even stop a woman?and ourselves?from hating.

Comments



Excellent. I used (Doug in Mount Vernon - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
Excellent.

I used to have lots of encounters like this one in Sterling, too.

People really buy into the garbage that we need to hate each other, or that if you support one, you hate or seek to tear down the other.

Community.  That's what it's all about.  We really could use more of it, and good for you for building it.



I love to canvas--an (Mary - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
I love to canvas--and anyone who knows me well, knows I can get my dander up (it's my Irish blood, though I try to tame it)! But I always meet folks who disagree--though none before who objected so very vicerally as this woman. I am a competative person--I want to win. Winning with voters means winning their hearts, so I plan ahead to stay cool. Plus, it isn't as if we never get angry at Republicans, huh? ;-)


I admire your restra (Will Evans - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
I admire your restraint too, Mary.  Were it me out there, I wouldn't have been so civil.


I wish politics coul (nova_middle_man - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
I wish politics could be civil again.  The problem is you have the DNC, RNC, cable news, PACs and most blogs all making the argument of us vs them red vs blue it's the end of the world if a dem/rep get elected.  Heaven forbid there be actual debate and civility.  No wonder people aren't voting anymore. 


Great story Mary. (Corey - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
Great story Mary. 

Re: Teddy, Yeh, this is no accident, this is 30 years of skilled marketing and branding and it is going to take an equal amount of work and many more conversations simliar Mary's to turn things around.



Wow, you really kept (DanG - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
Wow, you really kept your cool in that situation.  I'm kind of a firey person, and I don't know if I could've done that.  Major props, girl.


The Republicans are (Teddy - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
The Republicans are so good at brainwashing, as evidenced by the woman's use of stereotypes and her knee-jerk responses. When the world is black and white there can be no compromises, and "if you're not with us, you're against us," and therefore evil. I admire your restraint and your cool responses, Mary.


It shouldn't be surp (Will Evans - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
It shouldn't be surprising, really.  To have such views as many republicans have, you need to be isolated among other republicans.  Extreme views are very difficult to maintain in mixed company.


That's a great story (Matusleo - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
That's a great story, Mary.  I fear that I could never have maintained my cool like you did.  It's so great we have people like you.  I hope that you and that lady do see each other at the polling place tomorrow.


No, this was just a (Mary - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
No, this was just a woman who stopped me on the streets.


There are massive pr (Josh - 4/4/2006 11:31:49 PM)
There are massive problems facing Virginia, America and the World.  Hate's never solved any of them. 

The divisiveness in our public discourse is a disaster that keeps us focused on what's wrong rather than what could be better.  It keeps us divided, rather than uniting us for the common good.  Worst of all, it stops us from finding solutions to the problems that face us and getting results that matter.

You can say what you want about the Soviet Union, but I have my own idea as to why it died.  In the end, the Soviet state eliminated all relationships except for the one between the individual and the state.  By reducing to nothing the relationships between people and among groups, the Authoritarian state rotted from the inside and collapsed.

Whenever I encounter that kind of hate I think about how the divisions in the world cause hunger, war, famine... you name it.  Great write, Mary, and great job.  Virginia, America and the World need more people like you; regardless of party affiliation.

Josh